Clandestine Propinquity

The tents we built with the kind of fervor and vehemence you see in robots

Fell apart in the storm we inflicted.

We were in fact robots, oblivious to our other halves who pined day and night for our fingers to fit perfectly between theirs.

We were victims of a mondegreen. We misinterpreted our song’s lyrics for love when in fact it was deceit.

The pumping organs in our chest gradually solidify into frost.

The frost we wished we could thaw with our moulding bodies covertly.

But, we were a house of cards,

Oblivious to our other halves who pined for our fingers, dusk and dawn, to fit perfectly between theirs.

We look deep into each other’s eyes and see their reflection flash on our iris’.

We speak nineteen to a dozen then fall asleep nestling their frames in our disintegrating hearts.

We turn a blind eye to our clandestine propinquities perpetually.

We embrace each other because it’s easy.

I see her in you.

You see him in me.

And we shun the clandestine propinquity we have with them and hail our cowardice.

We’re frantic with trepidation in our souls.

We turn a blind eye to our clandestine propinquities perpetually.

We embrace each other because it’s easy.

I see her in you.

You see him in me.

And we shun the clandestine propinquity we have with them and hail our cowardice.

We’re frantic with trepidation in our souls.

We don’t want grapevines and whispers fragmenting to ruin our ego.

We’re fleeing from the countless flourishing roses in our hearts for a clown and a bedlamite.

We’d be a disgrace.

We’d besmirch our eminence.

But, we would wilt slowly like tender leaves who believed they were strong.

And now he’s back.

He’s bellowing your name from rooftops.

He’s not a clown anymore.

He has changed for you.

He wants all of you and you, him.

You flash your misty eyes at me; I let go of your hand from mine; you run for your freedom and there you are disappearing into the blazing sun of joy and forever, with him in your arms.

I stand upright and motionless in a hailstorm, letting the frostbite turn me into a glacier.

I see her reaching out for me, misty-eyed.

She’s a stellar, cosmic nebulae; tears of stardust and words of my musings.

I get lost every fucking time I see her!

I am a stray human dazed with her thoughts.

Her entity solicits mine. Her heart too. Her soul too.

And I almost give in.

For I get lost every fucking time I see her!

She implores me to find happiness with her.

She’s smiling, concealing her dejection.

She’s stretching out her hand for what seems like ages but I am at a standstill.

Because I get lost every fucking time I see her!

And I walk towards her.

I see hope igniting in her eyes.

Her smile dazzles.

Her smile triggers my lips.

They elongate too.

And I realize I haven’t ever smiled before.

And I almost get there.

I almost clasp her palms

Almost…

Almost there…

But she’s innocent.

She’s vulnerable and gullible.

And I watch her earnestly as she descends slowly to her decease, as she slopes gradually down from the rooftop, as the flicker of hope in her eyes vanishes and she closes her eyes and she smiles wider.

She fell for a homicide.

A homicide, she knew would never forget how he lost himself every fucking time he saw her.

I snuffed her but she lives on somehow.

She lives on and she still conquers my mind’s vicinity.

For I nestled her frame deep in the agitating pumping organ in my chest

For I won’t ever want to forget our clandestine propinquity.

Notes: Part 2 of the ‘Shamrock’ mini series, giving a peek into Shamrock’s character background.